nobody knows (and they never did!)
do you also feel UNCERTAIN and AIMLESS and WORRIED? welcome.
recently i’ve realized that not all the things i imagined for myself might come true (naïve, i know). this of course has never been specific to now, but it sure as heck has been highlighted for me. i’m not just talking a future vacation. instead try the semi-precise way in which i envisioned my life.
instead of allowing it to deflate me completely, i’m trying to get used to it. remembering that my hopes and dreams could easily be dashed, but that doesn’t mean i should stop hoping and dreaming. in fact, when i am doing ok, it’s mildly helpful in asserting my actual existence, as i tend to stray from reality into some strange, idealized narrative easily, and often.
and is this revolutionary? no! am i incredibly privileged for just now acknowledging this? yes! is it an okay jumping-off point for grappling with the rapid changes our world sees day to day? possibly!
i don’t know what the future holds and i never did but wow! this has thrown us some curveballs! and it is ok to reconcile the new world with the old and be sad (or excited or nervous or whatever, your choice), but don’t forget…
you can still learn new things (you probably will regardless of if you want to or not)
there are still trees
spring is continuing and so will summer and fall and winter and the spring after that and you get it
you can still write down your worries, close the notebook, and walk away
you can still reach out
you can still dig deep
you can still dream
people are still having babies and finding peace and walking their dogs
you can still put on your favourite dress
you can still lay naked in your bed
the table of elements is still going strong and carbon is still the basis of life on earth. and so much of the weird knowledge you have acquired just by being is still only mildly useful in everyday life but hold on to it! recite the trivia of your personal existence! some ants build rafts when they sense water levels are rising! badge moss is leafy and native to the northwest coast! all berries are fruit but not all fruit are berries! probably most of what you know is wrong or at least not quite right!
we can still write letters
we can still cry and laugh and sing and dance (we can still dance!)
we can still have hopes
you can still make things
you can still lay down in the dark and just listen
we can still reach out into the void of the future and send it some light and hope for the best, hope for the best, hope for the best
this is my favourite poem
really, it is.